America is Weird

By -
Number one question since I've returned: What is the best thing about being back in America?  I always answer food…  I don't even want to talk about food, but saying food just makes me smile and think of how delicious it is here.  In Africa I sometimes wouldn't eat just because food was difficult to come by.  You had to make it or find someone to make it for you and it would be the same food you've had every, single, damn day.  Why bother?

A close second is how easy everything is here.  If you want food, you go to your kitchen.  There is food there; I promise.  Even if you think there isn't, there is.  Maybe it's in a can or just some rice or pasta, but you have food.  If you managed to really fuck up your grocery shopping, you can go do that with ease.  Or stop at one of a billion types of restaurants.  OR, and I just discovered this, you can use an app on your phone to pay someone to shop for you!  They'll do your groceries or go pick up food at a restaurant.  They will bring you your beer and booze!  Two years from now the only time we will see rich people is when we are bringing them shit to their door.  Which will probably be answered by robots anyway.

Still, the most fun thing about being back?  Playing catch-up on culture.  SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED.  I spend an exorbitant amount of time reading things like "top 100 _____ of 2014".  I write off the rabbit hole of YouTube as research.  Come, take a tour with me…

So I was watching Saturday Night Live and saw a sketch with Jim Carry doing some weird dance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKENd6Re5kk  You may have heard of this Sia person and her Chandelier.  I hadn't and it needed explaining.  I go to watch her video and it is somehow even weirder than the parody: http://youtu.be/2vjPBrBU-TM  Who is this woman?  Well further research brings me to the following (I don't care if you watch the two before, but this is special):


I watched this in awe.  At first it was just… why?  What does it mean?  Why have we created a music video with a grown man fighting a rabid eight year old?  AND HE CAN TOTALLY GET OUT OF THE CAGE!  Even more importantly… when did Shia LaBeouf get so buff and grow that awesome beard?

If you were to some reason follow that query, you might run into this even weirder song about Shia LaBeouf (stick around for the end):




And naturally I just watched all those videos again before posting this and ended up watching even more Shia LaBeouf videos.  Apparently for the movie Fury (which I need to see) actors ACTUALLY got to fight Brad Pitt every day before shooting.  That has been every growing boy's fantasy since Fight Club!  If that didn't make me want to be best friends with Shia LeBeouf, him telling a store about getting arrested certainly did: http://youtu.be/jtAkNf_b_TM.

But I'm losing the point of all this which is that I have no idea how I could explain basically ANY OF THIS to my friends in Africa.  America is just fucking weird.
Location: Raleigh, NC, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Adieu DC.

By -
I usually deal with goodbyes by ignoring them.  Completely if possible.  My go to line is something like: "This isn't goodbye; I'll swing by one last time before I'm off."  Sometimes it's true, sometimes it isn't.  Regardless, it does a fine job of dodging the mushy hugs and teary eyes.  Of which everyone must face when confronted with a life without yours truly. Though, if there is anything good to say about goodbyes, it is that they really clarify what's important in your life.  The last month or so in DC has done a lot of that for me.  I met a lot of important people while over the last few years and I just wanted to thank them for the good times. Everyone at work was more than spectacular.  I was really taken aback by how everyone reacted to my decision to jump ship.  Hell, I half wondered if all their praise and admiration for the journey were really just escaped joy at getting rid of me.  My boss Ricky must have clarified a hundred times that
Read more

Priviet, Russia!

By -
Image
Right, so Blogger or Blogspot or whatever it is I am using to blog tracks all these different statistics.  And if you weren’t as incredibly self-assured as myself, you might spend hours every day pondering over them.  I did happen to take a look; ya know just to see what there is to see. Congratulations, readers!  You are part of an international community! USA for the win. Now, I know you are all excitedly telling everyone you know to check out this hilarious blog your friend is writing.  And that’s exactly what you should be doing… but I have a question. Who the fuck is reading this thing in Russia?  Pretty sure I don't know anyone in Russia (though presumably I'm wrong).  I mean… I can shout out to Japan.  Konnichiwa, Sarrin (and thanks Wu-tang clan for the linguistic lesson).  I can say “hola” to Boss Tony down in Nicaragua and to Faith in Honduras.  Sarah is hanging out in London, the only English speaking place on the list aside from the good ole US
Read more

ET or Early Termination

By -
First, I'd like to primitively apologize for the spelling/grammar of this blog entry and all those following.  Normally all blog entries undergo a strict process of refinement.  I write them out during the wee hours of the night after a hard day of giving a damn about languages and cultures beyond my understanding, then I review them a few times, and finally I upload them to the internet whenever I've the opportunity.  A few occasionally slip through under the pressure of booze and the good humor associated with it.  I suppose this might be of that variety. My laptop is dead.  A part of me died with it and I very well may just have to turn tail and go home. I feel incredibly guilty with how hard I am taking this.  When I signed up for the Corps there was always the chance I would be posted a million miles from any access to the outside world.  There are a number of volunteers in Cameroon without cell phone access, power, or any other luxuries of the western world.  I'm
Read more